I have felt compelled to write to you as a survivor myself. I have been feeling a great deal of sorrow. I have a guttural cry inside of me for all survivors at this very difficult time. My heart is hurting for all of you, myself included. Sometimes I just want to get on the floor and with my fists bang and bang crying out from the depths of my soul. The pain is so intense as is the sorrow, its as though my skin is being ripped from my bones.
Every survivor out there knows exactly what I am saying. I have had 21 years of very good therapy. Intense, yes, but I did the work and have come a long way. When I think of the hundreds of victims and what they must be feeling because of the last several months of news, my soul, aches. I know about loneliness, the terror, the helplessness and most of all, the BETRAYAL. Not many survivors have had the years of therapy I have had, I reach out to each one of you who is suffering right now. DON’T LOSE HOPE. Our time for justice is approaching.
I have a few suggestions that might help. Find a safe person who is not afraid of your rage and anger. We deserve our rage but we cannot allow it to consume us. Bang on that pillow, let your soul cry, scream anything you need to say into your pillow. Some of these suggestions are safe ways to “let go.” Write, journal or say it out loud.
Under all our rage are the tears of that wounded child, remember we made it through the horrific abuse as a child, we can make it as an adult. That wounded child needs our strength to fight for him/her. FIRST STEP TO HEALING: GIVE BACK TO THE PRIEST PERPETRATOR THE TOXIC SHAME! WE DID NOTHING WRONG. SAY IT A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT. I DID NOTHING WRONG. Post it on your mirrors, walls, phone – anywhere you will see it often! Empower yourself, stand tall in the truth! Stand with me, fellow survivors. Walk the picket lines in front of catholic churches. Stand with Catholics4Change and other concerned groups every 1st Friday of the month in front of the archdiocese offices. Write to the Pennsylvania legislatures on the two bills they continue to sit on. With action comes empowerment!
My fellow survivors, the coming months are going to be very hard on us. We need each other and we need to reach out to safe people who want to stand beside us and believe in us! We are stronger than we think. Please, we must take very care of ourselves. If you’re not in therapy, please find a good, compassionate therapist. Many will work with you financially. Please know you are not alone anymore. Reach out. You are the only one who can decide if you want to remain a victim or be a survivor. I have chosen to be a survivor! If in any way I can assist, use the contact page and C4C will contact me. Lets stand together in the truth. It really will set us free.